I watched this Horizon TV program a few days ago all about the secret life of dogs, and I was very impressed by the dog that understands over 340 of your human words. I know 13. This blog is (obviously) written by translations of my thoughts – you didn’t think I actually type all this did you?

Anyway, here are my 13 words:

• Up – Stand up on my back legs like humans do. Stay standing up till I get a treat.
• Down – Get off things, like laps, or sofas, or beds.
• In – Go to my bed, or rug, or cage, or my favourite back of sofa place.
• Out – If I’m inside, it means run to the back door then go outside in the nasty cold garden to go to the loo. If I’m already outside it means go to the loo already.
• Roll-over – what it sounds like. I do it till I get fuss/a treat. It’s harder than it looks.
• Jump-up – Get up on the sofa, or the bed, or a lap.
• Sit – Plonk my bum on the ground. I get this and Lie-down confused though.
• Lie-down – Plonk my belly on the ground. I get this and Sit confused though.
• Hoover – EAT THE FOOD THEY DROPPED!!!!!! OMG SO EXCITING!!!!!!
• Walkies – YAY! Run to the front door and get my lead put on, it’s time to go out for a WALK!!
• Bad-dog – I don’t like this one, it means I was naughty and they’re upset. Not good.
• Good-girl – Happy times, I’ve been good. Sometimes I get a treat or a fuss when they say this one.
• Stay – Don’t go anywhere.

I thought the scientists were a bit stupid though. They had to do tests to prove that dogs and humans understand each other, and know when they’re upset and stuff? I already knew that, and loads of other people did too. Idiots.

Doggie Stocking Goodness, originally uploaded by Zoe Corkhill.

It rocked. Blossom came to stay which was kind of annoying cos she ate some of my share of the Christmas dinner. But we got loads of treats and I’m still eating my way through them! If I had it my way I would have scoffed them all on Christmas morning but they said I’d be ill. SO WHAT?! It would have been worth it.. it’s FOOOOOD!!!!

So, this is what I have been reduced to. A stand for the ps3 controller. Oh well, at least I can sleep while I work!